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Ever since Sashiko became a trend, many kindly give me generous compliments about how beautiful what we make. They call me a master, artist, and even “gifted” for what I do. Some share their “wishes” to be like me as an extent to respect the Sashiko we practice. I humbly accept their admiration, and I appreciate them. However, I am a walking (inferior) complex, a mass of many layers of complexes. 

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I have been doing the same thing: Sashiko Stitching for many years. Before the trend, what I did was criticized as boring, uninnovative, and “sissy” work (Please be advised that the Sashiko was a work for women historically). Some say, “Why don’t you get actual work. You are a grown up boy/man”. Others laughed at me, “Oh, you wasted student loans by choosing to stitch. You don’t need a brain to do what you are doing”. The worst phrase was: “Why pay so much to something that handicapped people do?”: which is disrespectful for me and the people with challenges. 

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From my childhood, I received more contempt before than the admiration I get now, although I am doing the same thing. Some are repainting this for their convenience (money) while ignoring those “(my) History”. Therefore, I do not “define” words so easily. One day, it can be flipped by those with “privilege”.

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Only thing I can do is “share” the stories & practice “as is”. I try to be as difficult as possible on SNS to protect myself. I am more honest on Patreon with many longer stories. I pass down the core to those who take my classes. Since the pandemic, I started receiving requests to offer “In-person private” classes. It is very expensive, yet I sincerely appreciate their willingness to learn. I am not ready yet to offer “the answer”, I am still in-between admiration & insult. Therefore, I bring everything I can to the class & share so that the student can find their own answer. I believe that’s how it is supposed to be.

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急な話なのですが、お仕事を頂いたので一日出張してきます。お金がかかってもいいから対面で刺し子を学びたい……と。それだけの熱意を頂くと僕も「大変だし……」と断る選択肢はありません。どうなることやら。俺と対面で一日ですよ（笑）楽しんできますー。

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Sashiko is not the word for the Japanese mending technique itself. Mending is indeed a great part of Sashiko, but what we often would use for “mending” is just “hand-stitching for mending”, not so much Sashiko. People who use the word Sashiko as the mending technique is twisting the word & meaning of it. Sashiko is more than that.

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Many cultures have “mending” as their ordinary practice. I am pretty sure that your culture does as well. With name or without the name, your ancestors probably used the needle to mend fabric. So, mending itself isn’t anyone’s invention. There is nothing special in mending “itself”. However, it doe NOT mean that “Sashiko” existed in all of the culture. It existed in ordinary Japanese culture, and therefore it carries a significant amount of “Japaneseness”. 

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I see some “artists” who sell items saying “with a Japanese Mending Technique called Sashiko”. They aren’t wrong, but their description is insufficient. Often, a “business (being professional)” comes with responsibility, and I believe they are responsible for sharing the stories. I feel as if they share the message of “Cheddar Cheese is the (only) Cheese” without explaining about the other kinds of Cheeses. Isn’t it sad that we live in a world where we only enjoy Cheddar Cheese? I love Cheddar, but also I really would like to have some Camembert, and more. While “appreciating” the foreign culture, I really hope that they don’t “limit” the culture they are just visiting. I shared a video of “Mending” on Youtube. I am not sure if I would call it “Sashiko Mending” yet.

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(https://youtu.be/_TyNPXqSLCQ)

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上記Youtubeにて、今年の夏に活躍してくれた半ズボンの補修の解説を行いました（英語での解説ですが、少しだけ日本語のキャプションもいれました）。穴が空いたズボンに当て布をしただけなので刺し子なのかなと我ながら疑問です。衣類の修復をされているプロの方々からみたら、とんでもない仕事だと思います。ただ、英語圏では「これ」が刺し子であり、襤褸だと理解されるようになりました。間違ってないのよ。でも、足りてないんですよね。出汁を感じない味噌汁。チーズが乗ってないピザ。美味しい所がもっとあるのに。

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I decided to step out of my comfortable zone to protect my own identity. Only one way I found to protect is “to share” my own stories so that someone may receive & keep the Sashiko I have been living with. I was born with being “decided” to be the next heir of Sashiko Family Business, and I hated my fate from the bottom of my heart. In order to escape from this curse, I kept learning about it, and I still have been struggling to find out what I am facing. 

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I teach Sashiko as a “condensed essence” of Sashiko: Core & Essence. Once they learn this core, other “how to” will be supplemental (as I share some tutorials on Youtube). As I wrote above, I share my Sashiko story to respect myself & what we have been through: which I didn’t want to admit to for a while. 

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Anyone can do/teach/write/sell Sashiko. I know some people make my stories indifferent to the general ideas: After all, it is hand-stitching. However, I want them to know there are people’s lives in those stories. Sashiko is easy enough anyone can “teach” after spending a decent amount of time researching & stitching. However, Sashiko isn’t shallow enough to accept someone’s ignorance and indifference. I know we live in a world where “Instant Gratification” defines success, and even happiness. I probably do the same in non-Sashiko things. I am aware that what I do (Sashiko) seems to be somewhat indifferent to someone who values Instant Gratification. I share stories based on both struggle and gratification of my 30+ years. So, you are reading my stories of my life. It would be great if you could keep reading my stories, both here and possibly on Patreon. And, please help me out by spreading your words.

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英語で刺し子を伝える。ビジネス面に集中したり、有名になることを目的にした場合、この英語圏での刺し子ブームにおいて僕がすべきことは、ひたすらフォロワーさんを喜ばせることなんだろうと思います。でも、僕は敢えて、耳障りが悪いことも書いています。気持ち良い言葉だけでは、伝わるものも伝わらない。ただ、時に僕自身が苦しくなります。伝わらないから。そりゃ好かれていたいのが人情です。届けても目の前で破られる手紙はキツイ。そんな時に見る写真が、昨日紹介した運針会ジャケットの刺し子だったりします。全く同じ気持ちでなんか居なくても良いんです。でも、針目見りゃわかるんです。あぁ、刺し子の楽しさはきっと伝わったんだろうなって。まだまだ先は長いですが、ここまできたらもう人生懸けての腐れ縁です。どこまでいけるかわかりませんが、最後の最後まで貫きます。

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As I share Sashiko Stories, I love stories (I have been a big bookworm). For me, “reading” is a secretive dialogue to a book & author. In reading, we imagine scenes that the author also may have visualized. When lucky, we can even smell, taste, hear, and actually see “it” in reading. Is it too eccentric? That’s what our brain (imagination) can do. All I am asking in this account is to have the imagination (care, respect, and mindfulness) to the people, culture, and the “ordinary” behind the word, “Sashiko”.

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I believe in the power of stories. At the same time, I know the limitations of stories. As Zen greatly influenced Japanese culture, its teaching of “不立文字 – Fukyumonnji” is important to understand the whole. It is a teaching that, on top of teaching in words (both vocal and writing), it is essential to “practice” it to reach an understanding. In short, “reading” isn’t enough to fully understand the practice. Therefore, I decided to teach Sashiko. Unfortunately, the teaching based on “how precise you can make Sashiko stitching” or “How to be creative by following steps in Sashiko” will not bring to the core of Sashiko. No one measures each “stride length” when they run. They simply put the legs in front of them one by one. Of course, a good teacher is necessary when they want to improve their running. It is normal to run, but in Western culture, this doesn’t apply to Sashiko. Once we focus on “the ordinary”, the result of stitching will be similar, yet very unique. That’s one of the beauties of Sashiko I enjoy. 

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2020年の秋に日本に一時帰国する予定でした。お寿司、あずき、お味噌汁。あと、カップ焼きそば（笑）延期により脳内で予定していた美味しいものが食べられなくなって寂しい思いをしたのですが、一番きつかったのが、実は「皆様と一緒に作った刺し子作品」を実際に見る機会が延期されてしまったことだったりします。

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8年近く日本に帰っていません。つまりは配信やインスタグラムで頂いたご縁のほとんどが、ネット上で完結しているものです。実際にお会いしたことがある人はごく僅かです。だからお会いしてご挨拶したかった。ネット上だけの関係なのにも関わらず、これほどまでに似て、尚且つ特徴のある刺し子をしている皆様と、一緒に作品を楽しみたかったなあと思うのです。延期なだけです。必ず一時帰国は実現させます。それまでは写真を拡大しつつ、「運針すげーなー」っと感心し続けたいと思っています。ご協力、本当にありがとうございます。

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In 2019, the words “Sashiko” and “Boro” taught me great lessons. Sashiko, Boro, Zen, Kimono, Wabi-Sabi, Matcha, Pecha-Kucha, Ikigai… those words are translated with “something” missing, I feel. I haven’t read all the books, so I shouldn’t speak on behalf of others, but it is insteresting to find out most of the authors do not have Japanese-name. As I always say, they aren’t wrong, but insufficient, because “knowing what we do not know” is one good start in the Japanese mindset.  

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Another extreme analogy here. I feel like I happened to have a huge national event in my small village. They say they appreciate what our village offers as sightseeing locations, yet they focus on the event with their “fun”, often with noise and sounds where the quiet ordinary exists. If the party is a one-time event, like the Olympics, then we would welcome it. However, the event continue every night. We don’t know when it ends… but some say it will end for sure. My house happened to be right next to the park, yet I cannot say anything because the land they host a party is a public property (of local people): park. I speak up. This party “may” change the quiet and “Japanese-like” sightseeing asset. I do not mean to exclude them. I would love to welcome them. I just want them to enjoy what we really can offer instead of what they would bring into our village with their “fun”.

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The words themselves start getting their own “journey” based on what we hope to. Without proper understanding, mixing those words and creating another “catchphrase” can be very dangerous because the word will start walking with leaving the original meaning behind. Again, please don’t get me wrong. Their understandings are NOT wrong. It is just “insufficient”, since some words require an enormous amount of stories to have mutual understanding. Some words do not exist for marketing purposes to stand out in the crowd: for some of us, they reflect our identity. 

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先日、妻が「淳、家計簿って知ってる？」と夕飯時に話題に。我が家も一応家計簿はあって期間毎に赤が出てないかは確認しています。この”Kakeibo”が、「日本的な（出費に意識を向ける）アート」として紹介されていて。家計簿がアートなら、そりゃ刺し子もアートだわ……と言葉の一人歩きが怖いなと思った夕飯時でした（笑）ってか、笑えないんだけどね。

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As you know, I share pretty much everything on the Internet. Stories here to enrich the body of Sashiko, and Unedited Videos & some tutorials to preserve the techniques & skills. I offer Sashiko classes to pass down the “Core & Essence”. However, since I do not want to filter “who can learn” based on “what they have”, all of the stories & videos are free of charge. I care how “Sashiko is” more than anything. I ask them to support me when they can.

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Many people strongly denied this idea saying, “Atsushi, sharing them for free in public is a bad idea”. Yes. I understand that they worry about me & what I do. However, keeping “it” secret can be very dangerous in this “Internet” society: since anyone can be “the answer” without proper understanding. I fear Sashiko being something different by keeping it secret. So, I share even if it may strangle me slowly & surely. 

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This is my life-staking challenge, to believe in “Humanity: We are born decent”. Anyone can teach Sashiko after watching what I had been sharing for the last 5 years. As I am teaching Sashiko in Japanese, what I do isn’t so common even among Japanese people. So, if you decide to teach Sashiko based on what I share, please credit my works & help me to share what I am trying to do. All I want is to keep the Sashiko we practice with reasonable changes, and I need to make my ends somehow in order to continue that. 

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Well… those who may copy & teach what I share are not reading this story anyway. What they want is “technique” and “how to”. Same as Boro. Those who “copy” can only copy… and the original can keep sharing the original. However, due to the Internet, anything can happen including “ending me” in the process. So, please, please consider supporting the original instead of someone who copies & does a better job in marketing & communicating. I know the importance of “how to deliver the message”, but I have other priorities. I am doing my best to accommodate the reasonable request: and I hope I can pass down Sashiko as a “whole” to the next generation. I believe & hope that I can continue, but I sometimes get weaken in spirit.

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少し長くなりました。また配信でご紹介します！

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The more I share my stories, the more I realize that my “ordinary” has now become the “extraordinary”. Sashiko is what I do: and it requires the Japanese mindset to fully understand Sashiko as a practice. Although I haven’t reached a full understanding yet, it is astonishing that my common sense can be someone’s remedy. 

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Come to think of it, it may be “wisdom” we call. Some of you may have received a “Grandma’s Recipe”. In modern society, visiting a family in a rural setting and cooking Tomato Sauce together may be rare things to do. The ordinary Grandma’s Tomato Sauce became something extraordinary: that’s how we change ourselves.

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In terms of Sashiko, I am privileged because I received (forced to receive) those recipes. It isn’t just about stitching, but all around Sashiko including their life-long wisdom. In order to explain what Sashiko is to me, I need to provide enough stories for the audience to be on the same page… and therefore I feel I have so many more stories to share. 

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It is okay to dislike/disagree with what I say. I am questioning the “fun Sashiko” and it is a big “No” in today’s market. However, I want them (you) to trust me in one thing: If you are looking for something to help you in the practice of Sashiko, you will find it with/by/from me. I do not give it to you, but you will find it, as you may remember the Granda’s Recipe. 

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よくよく考えるととんでもない話なのですが、博士号を取得した先生や、その分野の最先端の方とお話をしている現状です。それほど、刺し子についての情報があやふやで曖昧。その曖昧さが西洋では理解し難いので仕方ない話ではあるのですが。ずーっと言っていますが、僕の目的は「おばあちゃんの知恵袋」的な存在でい続けること。まだまだ智慧は足りないので、しっかりと勉強し続けようと思います。皆様のお力を借りながら。

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I love thinking about “fun things”. I enjoy being “positive”. However, when someone says, “Atsushi, stop focusing on the negative (in Sashiko). We just enjoy Sashiko with positive thinking. Be Happy”, I find myself feeling somewhat disgusting with their “positive” words. I have been facing this “uncomfortableness” for while to see why I feel that way. It is true that being positive is good, but it makes me feel sick. Today, while on SNS, I may have found the answer. 

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It is like a music concert in a public park. The Positive & Happy music on the stage is great. There are many people in the audience dancing & singing together in great joy. This great Event is possible because there are many people/workers who clean the park before/after the Happy Time. The cleaning includes dirty jobs. Thanks to those who face the “cleaning”, the positive event can happen. 

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A Music Concert is a “planned” event. Sashiko is NOT an event for some Japanese: although for some, unfortunately, this is the event and therefore they can focus on the positive. Who is going to clean the mess after the party? While one is enjoying the positive, another may prepare for the dirty job: and the people who say “Be Positive” are usually the ones who do not engage in the dirty cleaning job. 

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This is another extreme analogy. Everyone should enjoy Sashiko as much as they want. However, telling others who are serious in “Cultural Context” to suppress the reality (dirty job) over Positivity (Fun event) is dangerous. Well… we see the same thing in many cases, and often, privileged people (including myself) can “choose” to be positive in someone paying the price for it. Are you here to enjoy the event of Sashiko, or to enjoy Sashiko fully?

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ポジティブ思考の力は知っているつもりですが、同時に「ポジティブに考えて！」というアドバイスには不快感を覚える一人です。SNSを彷徨っていて、ふと良い例えができたので、まずは英語で紹介しました。近日中に配信でもご紹介できれば！

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In sharing Sashiko in English, I always encounter someone who tries to “One-Up” me. It is rather funny to have discussions with them (instead of frustrating), there are always reasons for what I do. By the way, “Oh, I have so many Japanese friends who do not think as you do” isn’t going to change me anything: It is ridiculous to even imagine that all Japanese have the same understanding. All I am saying is that I can talk with other Japanese people on the “same page” when we have disagreements. Their “friendship” is awesome, but I hope they can try to learn language & culture before they depend on their friend. 

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One funny case of non-Japanese being “accurate” in Sashiko is the pronunciation of “Sashiko”. Yes, the pronunciation is important. Therefore, some people point out in my videos that my pronunciation of “Sashiko” isn’t Japanese. It is because I follow American Phonics that I learn little by little. It is unnatural to NOT follow the Phonics even if it is a non-English word. I pronounce Sashiko as the Japanese do when I talk in Japanese.

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When we talk about the culture, “cutting pieces” can be dangerous. Here, “pronunciation” itself is cut off from the whole context. It is great to know the Japanese pronunciation of the word “Sashiko”, but it doesn’t make one to be “authentic” at all. So is the pattern. So are the number of friends. “When in Rome do as the Romans do.”: the first step to respect the culture. I respect English as a language & my American friends in the USA.

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(I will explain the pronunciation difference on Patreon later on.)

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「貴方の”刺し子”の発音、日本語っぽくないね」と英語で指摘頂きました。うん。英語で説明してるからね。言語には発音のルールがあるので、それにSashikoも当て嵌めています。郷に入れば郷に従え。変にマウント取ってくる人いるんですよね……。「私の刺し子の発音は日本的だ」とか「私には日本人の友達が沢山いる」とか。俺、日本人やっちゅーねん。日本語とか日本文化でマウント取られても笑うしかない。でも、そういうことなんですよ、英語圏で一文化を紹介するっていうことは。

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In my childhood, I wouldn’t have imagined myself being at the age of 38. In reality, I became 38 years old today and appreciate the happiest moment in my life. The Live Streaming Yesterday (99% in Japanese) proves how “ordinary” my life & Sashiko became: and I cannot be grateful enough for that.

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I stopped sharing my personal stories (not only Sashiko but including everything) a long time ago. Many people do not want to look at something negative (dirty or disgusting). Being Positive is good, but requires a lot of willpower…based on each situation. Worse, they try to cover it (minimize it) by listening to only what they want to listen. It is okay because my personal stories should be “personal”. However, Sashiko Stories are not only personal but also “ours” of many artisans I respect. Regardless how uncomfortable it may be for the audience, I need to keep speaking up: Acknowledgement is the first step, however, it is extremely difficult with one’s defensiveness. If so, I just need to be patient and wait for them to be ready to “acknowledge”. The reason I keep sharing the Sashiko Stories. 

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昨日の配信、ご覧頂きありがとうございました。何気ない話、刺し子についての思いを語った普通の配信でしたが、そういうのも良いなぁと見返してほのぼのとしております。もう少しでYoutubeにアーカイブがアップされる予定です。

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眠気の中で、「誕生日(怖い)なぁ……」っていう口を滑らせた形になってしまいましたが、”本音”の部分はまた追々お話ができればなんて思っています。ほんと、皆様のおかげで無事38歳を迎える事ができました。良い意味で、全く想像していた日々とは違う毎日を過ごせていて、年月を重ねることで素直に誕生日を祝って頂いて、無邪気に喜べるようになれたらと思っています。去年の投稿見返したのですが、全く触れてなかったし（笑）少しずつ前に進めているという証なのかなと思います。

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「事実は小説より奇なり」を地で行く人生です。身内のお話をしても、お話を聞いて下さる方の負担になるか、どん引かれるか、はたまた信じてもらえないか……なので、お話をする機会も少なくなりました。それでも、僕と恵子さんの大切な刺し子の一部です。それも含めての刺し子だし、そこを通ってきたから魅力的なのかもしれないという見方すらあります。いつかは全て荷を降ろすことができる日がくるのかな……なんて祈りつつ。

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