Author: atsushijp

Clean Carpet Smell. Shining Floor. Fresh Baked Bread. I am glad that the “precious ordinary” resonates with many of you. Happiness is not something to win, it is something to realize (in the ordinary). It took so many years & excruciating (embarrassing) detours for me to realize the importance of the ordinary. We can “choose” to clean the carpet, polish the floor, and bake the bread. So we can choose to enjoy Sashiko. We Choose To Stitch/Mend out of so many choices.

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The fact we can call our choice as “ordinary” is one form of privileges. We work so hard to maintain the ordinary, and I am not minimizing our sweat and tears. However, we have choices. We have so many choices in Sashiko as well – and often, the choices are filtered by the person who has a loud voice. I say there is no such a thing as Right and Wrong in Sashiko. However, it doesn’t mean that “Whatever” is okay. I am NOT avoiding the discussion in Sashiko (if the argument is valid, I would learn from it). I am just asking to doubt what they know before they enjoy the simplified, filtered, and customized answers, especially if the information source isn’t from Japanese. A choice can be a power, and sometimes, I can be a violence creating pains.

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The Japanese who originally developed Sashiko didn’t have “choices” but stitching. Did they really embrace the imperfection? Was “making rice grain size stitches” so important to them? Do they enjoy “visible mending”? Maybe so, and Maybe Not. Therefore, we have to keep imagining based on our continuous learning. Filling those gaps is “History” – and I am here to share stories. The significance of “trend” is to make a practice extraordinary to stand out. I hope you can be a part of the stones in this trend.  

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面倒なことを英語で書いてますし、フォロワーさんも増えてきているのですが、「刺し子好きなおっさん」のままでいたいです。唯一抵抗しているのが、「英語圏での刺し子の塗り替え（言葉の一人歩き）」です。それ以外は、面倒で笑いが好きで針目で会話できる変なおっさんのままが良い。日本で日本語で刺し子をされている方は、僕にとって、全員「先生」です。マジで言っています。僕がお教えすることもありますが、逆に皆様から教わることも沢山あるのです。僕の今の刺し子の原点である大槌刺し子の皆様と昨日話をして、ふと、大槌＆遠野での2ヶ月を思い出しておりました。

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After saying bye to my daughter at Day Summer Camp, my wife and I spent a good 5 hours cleaning the house. Mainly Deep Carpet Cleaning (with always ending up with the agreement to get hardwood floor the “next” summer), and other laminated floor scrubbing with Zokins. I enjoy this kind of day. I rarely eat out simply because I like cooking. Easy gardening (like tomatoes) will always be a good addition to the hot summer. I am just an ordinary happy man, with learning the new pain because I learned English language. Criticizing me as an angry and unhappy man is already the reflection of the social issues they are in.  

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Deep Cleaning. Product Packaging. Order Fulfillment. And, other daily “house chores”. Some advise me to outsource them so that I can have “more” time. Yes, I am often busy, but with those “more time”, what would I do? To market myself to look bigger than who I am? Market our product so I would get more money? I am tired of those “purpose” oriented mindset as if there are better things when I focus on productivity. They say it is the time to get happiness with Sashiko. Well, I am already happy by doing those “ordinary” things (Of course, I want to earn money to make my dream happen, but not by sacrificing what I do today).

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Sashiko existed in the ordinary. Therefore, the “ordinary” is precious. As long as I can move (physically), I will not let others do this seeding of happiness. Seriously. Cooking a meal for my daughter’s smile with “Daddy’s food is the best” is the happiness I find & define.

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昔は考えられなかったことなのですが、家事がストレス発散方法だったりします。日常の家事というより、少し日常から離れた家事。日曜大工だったり大掃除だったり（それは家事とは言わないかもですが）。「忙しいなら家事とか代行しちゃいなよ」と、代行天国の米国だと良く助言を頂きます。その方が経済も回るのかもしれません。でもね、この日常の家事を大切にするからこそ、刺し子が活きてくると思うのですよ。毎晩フレンチのフルコース食べながら刺し子って、なんか違和感ありません？（嫌悪感とか間違いとかじゃなく違和感です）。刺し子には味噌汁が似合う。

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“Sashiko described in English isn’t wrong, but it is insufficient”. My Sashiko Stories in English are for fulfilling the “missing pieces” of this. There is an example of this “Western Development/Simplification” within the Japanese Word. It is Reiki. Reiki (靈氣) is a Japanese form of alternative medicine called energy healing.

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Reiki in English is “Correct & Valid”, but I believe it does not cover the whole picture of the Reiki it was practiced in Japan. 99.9% of the Reiki practiced today is established based on Usui-Reiki → via Hayashi Reiki → then Takata Reiki. Some say GHQ prohibited some Japanese spiritual work/healing after WW2, and the Japanese imported Western Reiki later on.

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Reiki or similar energy work existed in the ordinary for the Japanese people, I believe. It is natural to believe in invisible matter when we live in Animism & Shinto. For that matter, Reiki itself isn’t only Japanese practice. The similar practice has happened all over the world – just Japanese has its name for that.

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“Sashiko being imported from Western Culture (as a whole picture)” is my fear, especially because Sashiko isn’t established within Japan. The culture of “Sushi” will be protected by the Japanese. It is so established. We have lost so many Sashiko artisans with no voices left – so I am afraid of the future of “Sashiko” becoming merely a technique, and “Boro” being just a visible mending. 

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*I am not a master in Reiki. I apologize for any possible incorrect information I had shared. However, please understand that I am talking about Japanese ”靈氣” rather than Western Reiki, here.

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日本国外で、国内以上に知られている言葉に霊気（レイキ）があります。霊気が西洋レイキとなり逆輸入された形です。その流れは全く問題ないのですが、刺し子も同じ道を辿るとしたら、実際に刺し子をずっと行ってきた人間からすると、やっぱり嫌です。霊気のお話、刺し子とは関係ないけど、配信したら興味の有る方いらっしゃるかしら。

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One Story. Two completely opposite feedback – one with joy & appreciation, another with anger & aggression. I used to think it was because of my language ability. Not any more. Since I do not “define” it so clearly or provide the clear “answers”, my story becomes a mirror that reflects who they are. This is a scary realization – no matter how much I try, there will be those who attack me “regardless” of what I write. They only read what they want to read by clipping what I wrote. The safest way is to stop writing. However, I need to protect my own identity – and stop writing will result in changing it.

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Therefore, I am here to “Share”. I dare not to expect them to be “different”. I do not ask for any changes. I am not here to convince anyone. I don’t really need to validate my logic either. However, “sharing” brings 2 completely opposite feedbacks. I am a human. Of course, I care what others think about me. So, I decided to just “leave” it there. I summarize my message on SNS as a “story”. On Youtube, I will start sharing unedited stories with my unedited stitching as “raw materials (1st source of information)”. One may clip and paste what I say & create an easy & catchy summary saying “Atsushi is trying to shut others up in Sashiko”. It isn’t true, but that’s how they want to understand my stories. Then, what I can do is to leave “everything” so others will “re-repaint” the repainted version of Sashiko. If I cannot stop the process of “repainting” the culture, all I can do is to leave the “original paint” so someone else may/can re-repaint. 

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It is very unfortunate that I have to do this emotional & physical labor. 20 years ago, it wasn’t necessary. However, I hope all that I do would contribute to other cultures that may be in the same muddy stream of “Cultural Appropriation”. I know I am not alone in this. Therefore, I can keep sharing (The first unedited voice is on Youtube as Live Streaming Archives on 7/21).

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日本を離れて7年。一度も日本の地を踏んでません。気楽に日本に戻れる日がきたら、夢があります。それは、今、この瞬間に、日本で、日本語で、刺し子を楽しんでいる人に会いにいくこと。お話を伺いに行くこと。2012年に刺し子に対する見方が180度変わり、この7年で刺し子に対する想いが広がりました。やっぱり僕は、刺し子は日本のものであって欲しいのです。日本が誇れる、日本の当たり前（だったもの）だと思うから。

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I have been sharing stories about Sashiko for several years. If you are new here, please start reading some articles & watching some videos (both links from profile). If you can, please try to read them as much as you can. Since I rarely repeat the same story, it is ideal to read all the posts here. 

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“Not knowing” is fine. All I fight back is “Ignorance”. This word, “Ignorance” may require a bit of explanation. The ignorance I mean here is “intentionally done” for “their convenience” with “minimizing the origin (indifference)”. When all of these 3 elements, then it becomes a significant Cultural Appropriation issue. I never say that non-Japanese shouldn’t practice Sashiko. I say Sashiko in English is insufficient to be a “master” to teach the whole picture of Sashiko.

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Let me simplify a bit. If you follow this account and worry if you are appropriating the Sashiko culture, you are NOT. Ideally, I want you to learn from me to get the core & essence, but that doesn’t define Cultural Appropriation. I know some authors & teachers of “Sashiko” follow this account. To be honest, I respect them. I occasionally write something uncomfortable for them to read. However, they are here to “listen”. This isn’t intentional ignorance. 

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Unfortunately, there are people who block my voice and keep teaching Sashiko as if they speak on behalf of other Japanese. They do not worry if they are damaging the culture or not. Therefore, I speak up. The answers to your questions are mostly answered here already. All I am asking is to be “mindful”, and hopefully spread my voice before those “Cultural Invaders” completely change the culture.

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先日の久々の配信、ありがとうございました。見返してみたのですが、なんか不自然感が漂っておりました（笑）変わってないことをお伝えしすぎすぎて、結果としてギクシャクしたのか……ただ単に久々すぎるのか。ライフワークだった配信は僕の原点でもあるので、また丁寧にしっかりと再開したいと思っています。また遊びに来て頂ければ幸いです！

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The previous post. Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with running in the (hamster) wheel. I am still running there. The issues start emerging when they do not realize that they are in the wheel. Well, that’s their choice, and I have no problem with them running. However, what I am experiencing now is them forcing us to run on their wheels.

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Of course, the running wheel is a metaphor. Therefore, the running wheel is all different based on our values, common understanding, and most importantly “Culture”. I do not see any problem as long as they run within their cultural running wheels (ideally with their mindfulness to realize that they are running). The Cultural Issue becomes significant when someone pushes their value of “bigger wheel is awesome” or “more efficient wheel will give you better results” when we are well-balanced with what we have. It happened all over the world. It is happening to Sashiko (and probably many other hand-crafting cultures) now.

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Unfortunately, I need to be running on various kinds of wheels to be “strong” enough to speak up. Not everyone is ready to even realize what they are doing. Well. You know it by now if you understand what I am writing here. Not Only do they repaint something they do not own, They Decide what Happiness is For you. They try to convince you that the color they repainted is better, as if running in their wheel will bring us more “Happiness”. Unfortunately, those people often do not stitch Sashiko.

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本日の夜、久々に日本語で配信をしようと思っています。夜9時頃から、1時間程度を目安に。最近、小難しいことを書くようになっていますが、基本的に何も変わっていません。一人語りの配信はとても久々なのですが、何も変わってねーなーという所を見に来て頂けたら嬉しいです。パソコンから配信できるYoutubeにて。（https://www.youtube.com/c/sashico）

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The monetary System (Coins and Bills) visualized the measure of wealth. Liberalization (freedom society) pursues individualism and responsibility that one has to carry (to be wealthy). Capitalism rushes us to complete each other to be “free” and “wealth”. Once we drop out from the “system”, then it is extremely challenging to get back on the track. Well, we may call them being eliminated by natural selection. Well… at least, I used to think that “they didn’t do what they had to do – therefore, they are out of the competition” until I started re-learning what Sashiko is.

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Some cultures exist(ed) outside of this running wheel. If I were to verbalize (extremely roughly) the fear, it is us (Sashiko) being forced to be running in the wheel. Don’t get me wrong. We have been running on the wheel as well. However, it was a wheel made by Japanese.

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Sashiko is merely a form of hand-stitching. Anyone can do that with anything they have. However, the culture of Sashiko exists today on the sweat & hard work by many Japanese who have spent their lives trying to make this culture better (and more accessible). It is so ironic that we may lose some of them because it became a “trend” – in which I thought it would save them instead of pushing them out. Well. I have to admit. I was too late. However, it doesn’t mean there is nothing I can/should do.

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貨幣制度が裕福の尺度を作り出し、社会の自由化が個人の責任を第一に追求するようになり、そして資本主義が「（個人が）頑張れば裕福になれる」と競争を急かす。文章で書くとなんだか現実味がありませんが、でも、現代社会は「努力ができること」が前提で成り立っています。もっと簡単に言うと、「自己責任論」。僕はこの言葉が嫌いです。

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刺し子がこれだけ有名になると、これからの10年で様々な変化が訪れると思います。もう既に訪れているかもしれないし、今この瞬間かもしれない。刺し子に参入する人がいれば、それだけ刺し子から離れる人も出てきます。それは一般には「自然淘汰」と呼ばれるのかもしれませんが、僕は文化においては、「淘汰」に自然的なものはないと思っています。意図があり、だからこそ諦めがある。では僕は何ができるか。一人の刺し子好きとして声を出し続けるしかないと思うんですよね。

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I learned that, in the US, it is almost “taboo” to talk about “death”. When we need to talk, the phrases “Past Away” and “Lost” will be used to avoid unnecessary discomfort. It may be the same in Japan. However, since I was raised in a unique environment, I had a lot of opportunities to think about it. “Think” may be a bit of a light word for that. Probably, “face to it” may be the better explanation. In my life, I barely talk about death in English. I follow the US custom there. Here, I will talk about it just a bit.

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When one has to stitch for survival in harsh conditions, the possible “death” would be right next to them. Lack of Food, Cold Winter, and Accidents & Disease, anything can bring them death. In fact, I believe, facing death without interpretation was their way to survive another day. Since they gained another day to survive, they appreciated what they had. We may learn how to appreciate “it” when we face to lose it. 

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I am NOT saying we have to face it to appreciate, or practice Sashiko. It is the best thing that we can “choose” what we want. However, when it comes to “defining what it is”, saying “whatever is good” is disrespectful to the culture (especially if one is not from the culture they discuss) without learning history. Boro is the extreme result of their survival. It means days after days of facing death (by Japanese) created Boro. I think that damaging fabric on purpose and calling it Boro (mainly for money or showing off) exists on the completely opposite side of what the Japanese did. 

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米国に移住して思うのは、「死」という概念そのものがタブー視されているということ。ほとんど語られる事はありません。僕が知らないだけで、日本でも「死」について語る事はタブー視されているのかもしれません。ただ、昔に襤褸を作った日本人のすぐ横には「死」が存在しましたし、僕もそれなりに死について考える人生を歩んできました。そもそも、日本人の「死生観」は独特です。死を穢れとする神道と、死を仏・輪廻転生の一歩と捉える仏教が同時に信じられているので、前提の段階で訳がわかりません（笑）ふと思うのは、「死」を意識すると、「今（の当たり前）」がとてつもなく愛おしくなるのです。感謝もそこから生まれたりします。だからこそなのですが、感謝って意図的にしようと思うものじゃなくて、ふと湧き上がる気持ちなんだと思っています。

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The human is uncertain. With our brain, we can (pretend to) be anyone. We can smile in the screaming pain. We can (fake) cry for the profit. The Internet made our society more difficult for those who are innocently pure, because if one cannot distinguish “fake” as fake, then it can be a very confusing place. 

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Therefore, I enjoy Sashiko. The stitches never fake. Well, in the rhythmical stitching for hours upon hours, one cannot keep faking on stitching. As a result, the stitches tell all the stories. I can tell who is NOT stitching while talking about Sashiko. I can tell why they stitch by looking at stitches. Stitches tells more than the words – therefore, it is very important to verbalize it in words. And I believe, you have your own “stitches” in the same context.

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When one stitches being mindful of the process, the stitches become who they are. Therefore, I often say (in Japanese), there are no evil people in the Sashiko we practice. If one is so evil, the result becomes toxic even for themselves… I am not saying all the people in Sashiko are angels. There are… umm, many strange/interesting people there, including myself, but all of them are very… human-like (I won’t define if it is good or bad…but I like the people who actually stitch Sashiko). Sashiko isn’t only about “stitching” for upcycling something. It is a good practice to talk to oneself – like me talking to myself that I do not know so well.

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運針をお教えする際、「針目（が揃っているかどうか）は気にしないで」とお伝えして始めます。勿論、揃っている針目が綺麗ですが、普通に運針を続ければ、なんだかんだで意識しなくても揃ってきます。というか、逆に意識して常に針目を揃えてると疲れちゃう。勿論、針目を揃えることはとても大切な目標の一つですが、そこだけに意識を集中して欲しくはないなと思うのです。そもそもですが、「揃ってる」という言葉そのものが、各々の頭の中で微妙に違います。僕が思い描く揃った針目と、恵子さんが思い描く針目は微妙に違います。母子でもそんなもん。だからこそ、針目には人が出てきて、それを拝見するのが何よりも楽しんだなぁと。運針、楽しいですよ〜。

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Sunday morning. It was such a week. I lost about 350 followers since I talked about “privilege”. It means my posts created a lot of discomfort. It also proves how ignored it can be.

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I am an ordinary person. So yes, the number of followers makes me happy when I get more, and makes me sad when I lose them. However, being famous isn’t my goal, Publicity is just a means to make my dream happen. Therefore, “Who follows this account” is much more important than how many follows. Although it isn’t my intention to create discomfort, I write what I have to write to protect my identity. Thank you very much for all the DMs and comments, and keep following me here even in the discomfort I create. 

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I am an ordinary father. So yes, I would like to provide a better life to my family by making more money. I know I can get a lot more money by “offering what they want to hear” in this trend. However, then, what to tell my daughter when she faces her identity? To be “clever” and “(fake) nice” to be a winner? Winning in what? She will need to learn where she is from one day. I would like to leave my words for her – which I cannot summarize into my living will and she isn’t ready to receive, so I hope she will read this account one day. Money is very important. Money can prevent/avoid many unfortunate things. However, for me, “how to use money” is more important than “how much I have”. Is it idealistic? Yes, I admit. Am I bluffing? Maybe, because I want money, too. But, being mindful, I don’t need much “stuff” to make myself happy. Happiness is something we realize – not to convince ourselves to be, nor even buy with money. Thank you very much for your time helping me here to realize it. 

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とんでもない一週間でした。これまでも様々な誹謗中傷は受けてきましたが、なかなかに酷かったです。英語を読まれる日本の方からの心配の声、時には代理でブチ切れて頂いている声等を頂いて、本当に心強いです。僕の思いは日本人の、ほんの一部の声です。代弁しているなんてこれっぽっちも思っていない。それでも、同じ価値観を共有する日本人の方から、「同じ方向を見てるからね」と見守って頂けているからこそ、前に進めています。ありがとうございます。やってる事は孤軍奮闘っぽいですが、でも一人じゃない。ずーっと独りだったからわかるんです。握ってくれている手がそこにあることを。詳細は今週どこかで配信でお伝えしますね。

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