One Story per day. I apologize I couldn’t accomplish it yesterday. I couldn’t get up from the bed. I haven’t been feeling well last few weeks. A story per day. It is a voice from my heart. I cannot just observe someone overpainting my memories regardless if they are good or bad. Sashiko isn’t anyone’s possession. However, my memories are my own – and everytime I acknowledge ignorance, I stop to fight back in the sorrow. If you have any issues with what I write, read my desperate messages here. Don’t read what you think I would write. I am tired of explaining myself.
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Some say, “Hey, if you are in that much pain, you should stop it (sharing, teaching Sashiko, or business itself)”. I know they mean well, but that is the last knife to end me. Do I have a choice to give up sharing? Privileged people do whatever they want no matter what… so I should just observe them overrunning my culture – and my own memories?
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If you are not willing to learn what Sashiko is to us, stop teaching & calling it Sashiko. (Before you react, read my insight in Cultural Appropriation with Sashiko). I have been screaming for 2 years. I will continue if I cough up the blood. My messages are my life. Do not degrade someone’s life by saying, “It is your choice”. Sashiko isn’t a choice for me. It is my life.
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一日一投稿……と続けてきましたが、昨日は投稿できませんでした。ベッドから起き上がれませんでした。少し限界がきているのかもしれません。とんでもない濁流に自分から飲まれに行っているのは承知していたのですが、やはり傷つきすぎると人は動けなくなるようで。
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「たかが刺し子に何を大袈裟な」と思われるかもしれません。僕自身そう思う時もありますから。でも、僕の人生、ほとんど刺し子に関わることなんです。酸いも甘いも痛みも、ほんの少しの喜びも、なにかしら刺し子と紐付けされてる。それを、”日本を知った風に装う人”に、”笑顔で善意を振りまきながら”、土足で踏み躙られていると、とても苦しいのです。しかも、「私は楽しいし善意だよ」と、人と傷つけながら自己を完全に肯定しながら。でもね。諦めるという選択肢はないんですよ。血を吐こうが倒れようが伝えなきゃいけないものがここにあるんです。
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