In 2015, before I truly faced my fate, I was all about the “desire for approval”. I wanted to be someone that I wasn’t. I was always looking for something to be “recognized”. After a year of talking to myself after tragedy, I learned how to be a friend of “desire for approval”, not a slave of “desire for approval”. Therefore, I can prioritize my stories over publication or publicity. It doesn’t matter if my work/voice is hugely approved or not because what I care is “who” is trying to listen.
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You may wonder, “Isn’t teaching also for approval (recognition)?”. Maybe. If I decide to eliminate the desire for approval, stitching by myself for the purpose of creation may be more comprehensive. However, I decided to continue teaching. Why? Because I realize what I teach in Sashiko can help many people, especially those who suffer from being trapped in “desire for approval”. Unfortunately, some make money by clicking on the weak point of the raw desire. Society asks us to be “someone useful”, and we have to be “productive” to be successful. How do we measure it? By someone’s approval. I used to believe in this, but I no longer follow it. No one has to suffer from “not having or not being able to”. The major suffering comes from “comparison” and “unsatisfied expected desire”.
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Japanese in the 18 century knew how to deal with their “desire” in such a limited society. At least, Sashiko & Boro taught me how they would have handled.Therefore, I really want everyone to learn Sashiko from us, instead of learning from someone who uses Sashiko/Boro as the way to get approval. Why do you hand-stitch? For approval, or for someone(something) who you care about?
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毎週金曜日夜の配信、今回は30分程度の短いものになってしまいますが、どうぞよろしくお願いします。「承認欲求」について話そうかと思っています。30分で終わらんだろ？と言われそうな気もするのですが、触りだけでも。現代社会はどの分野でも「承認欲求」を避けて通ることはできません。認めて欲しいんです。それは僕もそう。今は少しはマシになったけど、昔はその塊でした。ただ、刺し子と承認欲求はそれほど相性はよくありません。特に昔の作品は承認欲求という前向きな欲よりも、様々な喜怒哀楽の過去が詰まっている感じがしています。だからこそ、今の英語圏での承認欲求の塊の刺し子が、刺し子の全体像だと言われると、どうも嫌なのですよ。襤褸に畏れるのは、それが人間らしいからです。他の誰にもならなくていい（他の誰にもなれない）日本人の意地が垣間見れるんですよね。
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